※讨厌所面对的一切※

等下４点就要起程回怡保的老家了，已经整整３个月多没回去了，好怀念．．．回去以后有好多东西吃，可以去走街，不用每天呆在家里．．回怡保后还要上金马伦，然后再上槟城．．还是去吃，哈哈．．等下回来以后不懂会不会胖了几公斤．．但没关系，吃得是福，我婆婆说的！但回去了就不能上网了，要一个星期以后才能再写日志．．刚才收拾行李，整理好了才发现我带太多衣服了．．又不是去住整年，带这么多衣服回去干嘛．．．？神经！！但又三心两意，不懂要带哪套衣服回去．．最后还是把全部打包起来，带完好了．．不用烦！！所以结论就是，神经！！但最麻烦的就是恩了．．．她每次回去晚上都不要睡觉．．．一直找人陪．．．我才没这么的空叻！！别烦我就好了．．我婆婆那里算是乡村，乡村的定义是什么？就是早睡早起嘛．．．我每次回去都要配合那里的生活，不然就真的是自己找麻烦了．．．你要迟睡是你的事，但绝对不能睡迟过六点．．．那里的巴刹，面档之类的五点多就开挡了．．．每次我们都是早早起身然后去吃早餐的，有好几次我真得很想睡，就跟我爸说不要出去吃东西了，结果我爸．．．没怎么样，就是拉我起床，不然你要他拿水泼醒我吗？不能再说下去了．．说到都心痒痒的．．好期待啊！！我的怡保，金马伦，槟城之旅．． 

最近不太想写日志，也不懂要怎么写．．很多事情无法用文字表达．．真得好讨厌自己所面对的一切！！

说过了，如果不再听见她的名字，我真的可以把她忘记！！在昨天以前，我真的忘记她了，但偏偏对她的事感兴趣．．憎恨的感觉又被勾起．．我真的没办法跟她断绝关系吗？真的好讨厌好讨厌她！！难道她就不能停止她的居心吗？让我们知道这件事算是什么？要我去告密？然后全家轰动？休想！！她不会这么容易得逞！！！所以说，我好想离开这里．．离她越远越好．．．最好永远听不见她的消息，忘记她的声音，忘记她的样子．．．可是她为什么缠着我关心的人不放？！？！那是我哥，我比任何外人更关心他．．可是，我是否因该相信她的话．．？真的没想过，我哥会接触这种东西．．虽然不知真假，但如果是真的话怎么办呢．．？我不懂了．．．真的不懂！如果是这样的话，我宁愿什么都不知道．．

我有想过，如果有一天我真的跟她摊牌，结果会是怎样？但，不过是想罢了．．我不会这么做，我不该为了她，而背叛信任我的人．．这不是我应有的行为．．．我跟她说过，我会保守这个秘密，直到我死的那一天．．但我却暗爽，因为她永远都不会知道这件事，而我们却知道所有的事，所以我们占在上风，她，永远处于下风．．．太值得庆祝了！！

４天前就开始生病了，什么咳嗽伤风喉咙痛感冒都一起来了．．．昨晚还把咳嗽传给恩了，今早起身就听见她咳个不停，有点心疼．．今早刷牙时看见洗脸盘红红的，原来是我流鼻血了．．我还问我妈，我是不是患上鼻癌了，不然干嘛流鼻血？！我妈差点要拿起手打我了，说我一早八早乱讲话．．．可能是因为发热气，所以才会这样．．应该没什么的！

Have You Ever~Westlife

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right

Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
to make them understand

Have you have had someone
steal your heart away
You'd give anything
to make them fell the same

Have you ever searched for words
to get you in their heart

But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right

Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything
to look into their eyes

Have you finally found the one
you've given your heart to you
Only to find that one
won't give their heart to you

Have you ever closed your eyes
and dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait
for the day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

What do I gotta do
to get to you in my arms baby

What do I gotta say
to get to your heart

To make you understand
how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Coz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever...
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry

Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night

Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

以前小学时有一段时间迷上westlife，不是因为他们长得帅，而是我第一次接触的英文歌是他们唱的，就是那首'up town girl'．．真是满旧的一首歌．．过后不懂怎样，慢慢把他们忘记了．．我不过是三分钟热度．．

刚才又去看那个曾经和我许下很多承诺的她的部落格,知道她又堕落爱河了..

说真的,我干嘛要时常去看她的部落格啊?!我不懂...

但我对这件事的看法,应该是意见是..你爱的人不是我哥就行了!!

其余的,关我屁事啊?

每次看完她的部落格后心情都会被影响,但又控制不了自己不去看...

我到底在干嘛啊?!说过不要再去想她的事,但还是...

唉....